Discovering that a teen is using drugs or alcohol can be a scary experience for parents - many feel alone, ashamed, guilty, and confused about what to do next.

We want to be the first to tell you about our new online help resource for parents and caregivers who suspect or know their child is experimenting, using or has a problem with alcohol or drugs: Time To Act!

Through video and interactive multimedia modules, Time To Act! offers step-by-step advice and compassionate guidance from substance abuse experts, family therapists, scientists and fellow parents to help steer families through the process of understanding alcohol and drug use, confronting a child, setting boundaries, and seeking outside help.

Finding out your teen uses drugs or is drinking definitely stirs up a parent's emotions. But the best way to help your teen - and to make sure she hears you - is to remain as calm as possible throughout the conversation. Here are other things to keep in mind: 

 Hold off until she is sober. Do not start the conversation when you can tell your child is drunk or high.

Show your concern. Express to your child that you're worried about her.

Keep a cool head. Try your best not to overreact to what your child has done in the past. Instead, focus on making it clear what you want him to do in the future.

Be direct. Clearly state your concerns as well as any evidence you've found ("You're not showering, your grades have dropped, and I found empty beer cans in your car").

Listen. Don't do all the talking - be sure to give your child a chance to speak, and listen to what she or he has to say.

Learn more tips for having more productive conversations